
The Year of Goodbyes and Hellos by Kelly Irvin
Series: a standalone
Publisher: Thomas Nelson on December 5, 2023
REVIEW BY VERA DAY
This inspiring novel is based on Irvin’s real life experience with stage four ovarian cancer. In the Author’s Notes, she says, “I remember in intimate detail what it felt like to wait in a frigid exam room, barely able to breathe, in terror until a doctor walked in and changed my life forever.” Irvin manages to convey those details and that terror to the reader through the character of Sherrie who is diagnosed with cancer early in the story.
Sherrie is fifty-eight years old, a divorced mother and grandmother, and a kindergarten teacher. She’s a runner and a health nut. Sherri’s sister, Kristen, is an oncologist, also a mother and grandmother, and married. Kristen smokes (yeah, the irony!). Daniel is the neglected husband of Kristen.
Irvin tells the story from the alternating point of view of these three main characters. We also witness their faith journey, or lack thereof (no spoilers here).
Through her characters, Irvin addresses themes of marital endurance, childhood trauma, and especially what we try to fix vs what we place in God’s hands.
You’d think a book about such a serious cancer diagnosis would be depressing. But the way Irvin portrays Christian faith and the sisters’ relationship in the midst of the crisis is uplifting. There’s humor, too, as evidenced by one of many back-and-forth cremains-discussions between the sisters:
Sherrie: “So I’ve given it some more thought, and I want my ashes spread from the Great Wall of China–after you walk the whole thing.”
Kristen: “No problem. I want my ashes sprinkled on Mount Everest. You’re the Marathon runner. You can hike the highest mountain in the Himalayas.”
-Kelly Irvin, The Year of Goodbyes and Hellos
Besides being ultimately uplifting, the book is also educational. I learned how devastating cancer treatments can be to a person’s body, emotions, career, and family. I learned the difference between phase one treatment trials and phase two trials. I learned what a MUGA scan is.
If I have one complaint, it’s that the sisters and their surrounding friends and family seem obsessed with comfort food: cookies, lemonade, sweet tea, pies, cinnamon rolls, King Ranch casserole, and especially ice cream. The dissonance between trying to survive a health crisis and being surrounded by unhealthy foods twisted my brain. But maybe I’m being too judgy. If I had a serious cancer diagnosis, I’d probably curl up on the couch with a couple of pounds of chocolate, and my dear husband would probably get fat on pizza. So only half a fish off.
Overall, this is an emotional, informative, and gripping story. Highly recommended!

I read The Year of Goodbyes and Hellos through NetGalley.
This book sounds engaging and touching! I’ll have to check it out. Great review Vera. ☺️
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hi Strange! “Engaging and touching” is a good way to describe it. Thanks for commenting, and I hope your writing is going well!
LikeLiked by 1 person
That was an excellent review of a book about a very difficult topic. It seems to be a very good book. I had several smokers in my family and many of them died prematurely from cancer or had a lung or more than one lung removed (portions of the second). That Kristen, an oncologist, was smoking, is like you said, ironic.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thanks for your kind words about my review, Thomas. What is ironic in real life is that I’ve had several doctors/nurses over my lifetime who were overweight and in such bad condition that they huffed and puffed their way into the exam room. I guess they were so busy taking care of others that they didn’t think to take care of themselves.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Fascinating review, Vera! Having gone through similar issues with family and friends, it interests me how we can still takeaway meaningful messages through the perspectives of others.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Grant. And I agree!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for sharing your review, Vera. I like how the sisters’ used humor as a coping mechanism during a difficult time. I’ve done that myself.
LikeLiked by 2 people
The sisters banter several times throughout the book about where they should scatter each other’s ashes. I loved their relationship. Thanks for commenting, Jill!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very enticing review. I love the snippet of dialog you shared, where the two sisters try to outdo the other on who can make the more outrageous requests on what to do with the ashes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, their conversation is morbid but hilarious, too! Thanks for commenting, Pat!
LikeLike
If that excerpt is typcial, I have to agree. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha, ha! I loved the sisters’ competitive cremains disposal instructions. And it rings true to me. There is often humor in the lived experience of people going through such difficult things. I saw it often in my work as a hospice nurse.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I know for a fact you did see humor in people when they were experiencing their last days from your book. (It’s A Holy Errand by Fawn Hoener, everybody who’s reading this comment. Fabulous book!) Thanks for commenting, Fawn!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’d also have expected this to be a depressing book considering the subject matter. But I’m also one of those people who uses humor as a coping mechanism, so I get it. I’m with you on the junk food, Priscilla. I’d do everything I could to help myself. Thanks for sharing!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I think Sherrie being such a likable character helped too. She never drags other characters (or the reader) down a deep hole of depression even though it’d be totally understandable if she did! Thanks for commenting, Teri!
LikeLike
I’ve lost far too many family members to cancer (and have others battling it now). I applaud the author for taking a devastating diagnosis and illness and using it to point readers to faith. I also love the fact she threaded the book with humor. Great review, Vera!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks, Mae. Yeah, cancer is a cruel disease!
LikeLiked by 1 person
After going through breast cancer, I may not want to revisit that period of my life, but the book sounds inspirational.
As for the comfort food, I didn’t want much, but everyone handles stress differently.
Excellent review. Thank you for sharing.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I can imagine the chemo treatment scenes would be especially difficult for you, Marie. But you are right; it’s an inspirational book! Thanks for commenting.🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
That is the cancer my mom died of. This sounds like a compelling story, Vera.
LikeLiked by 2 people
It is a compelling story, Jacqui. I’m so sorry to hear your mother died of the same disease. I learned through reading the book that it’s a sneaky, silent cancer until its later stages. Thank you for commenting.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this review, you have a very compelling way of writing. This book sounds very interesting too. My last Christian read was Joni and it had some similar themes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hey, I’ve read Joni! Her story really moved me. I still remember Joni even though it’s been a few decades since I read it. Thanks for your comment, Simone.🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great review, Vera. I would have thought this subject to be depressing and have dealt with several cancer losses over the years, I’m glad it takes a different approach.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for the kind words about my review, Denise. I haven’t lost a sibling, child, or parent to cancer, so I can only imagine how that would be… and for those who have lost someone, this book might be a traumatic read even if it is ultimately uplifting. I’m glad you commented. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wonderful review, Vera. I’ve three sisters and when we get together, we put ailments aside and enjoy the pleasures of chocolate, berry pie, and ice cream. Three of us have BC and watch out for each other. Learning to laugh and holding on to faith are two of our collective achievements. Your review resonates deeply. 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Gwen, it sounds like the three of you have a wonderful relationship.❤ Thanks for your comment!
LikeLike
I’ve read cancer stories and have always been moved by them. Given all the cancer in my family, I feel like I live this story now and don’t know that I want to read it, too. I’m glad to hear there’s humor within. It’s a necessary part of healing and is a realistic part of the disease. Excellent review, Vera.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Staci. Maybe since I haven’t had any close family members struck by the disease it was easier for me to jump into the story. Thanks for commenting.🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
As the wife of a thirty-year cancer survivor, this book intrigues me. I like that she used humor in the book. Cancer of any form (and its treatments) are tough. You have to have some humor. It wouldn’t be politically correct today, but my SIL gave my husband a shirt with a bald Tonto (from the Lone Ranger series) and an inscription that read, “Chemosabi.”
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Vera.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You would understand the support network required for Sherri better than I did (at first, I learned!). Cancer is a whole-family experience even if the disease only strikes one person. “Chemosabi,” oh, that is funny. (But yeah, it wouldn’t fly today.) Thanks for commenting, Joan!
LikeLike
I think it would be incredibly hard to carry on with your life with a cancer diagnosis hanging over your head. To do it with moments of humor- incredible and uplifting.
This sounds like an emotional read. Thanks for the recommendation, Vera.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, it is an emotional read. I cried. I laughed. I got angry. Thanks for commenting, Jacquie.🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Vera, an emotional book and I like the fact that humour is so much a part of their lives as they cope with this insidious and indiscriminate disease. The quote you share here is great and a lovely review. Yes, what you write about the obsession with unhealthy foods seems against all medical advice. My niece, when her mother had cancer, went on a mission to try and save her through various healthy meals etc (not that she didn’t eat well in the first place). Tragically she passed away 18 months after diagnosis – ten years later the reverberation from the loss is still felt so much. A book that will touch many and one I’m going to take a look at – thank you for sharing here.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Annika, what a lovely and thoughtful comment. I’m sorry to hear that you’ve lost a family member to this awful disease. May she rest in peace. I hope you have a lovely rest of your weekend!🧡
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Vera. It sounds like an inspiring book, although I understand your comment about food. I tend to think the same when I read some novels and watch some movies (wine also comes to mind here), but, I guess we all have our creature comforts and food is a common one. I wonder…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Creature comforts, exactly! Yes, it is an inspiring book. Thanks for commenting, Olga!🙂
LikeLike
This sounds like an informative read as well as a touching and entertaining one, Vera. Skip the chocolate. I think I might start eating potato chips. Lol 🙂 Thanks for the thoughtful review.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Informative, touching, and entertaining, yes on all three counts. Thanks for reading my review and commenting, Diana.🧡
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a story that must be… and what an ordeal to go through. Cancer is never easy. It sounds like this makes for a powerful read.
LikeLiked by 1 person
“Powerful” is a good way to put it. I laughed, I cried, I was frustrated for Sherrie… lots of emotions! Thanks for commenting, Olivia-Savannah!
LikeLike
Hi Vera, having gone through cancer with my mother, I rarely read books about it. This one sounds like a hard read 💞
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can imagine you experienced what Sherrie’s support system (her loved ones) felt. Way more than one person is affected when someone gets cancer. Thank you for commenting, Robbie.❤
LikeLike
Every time I write about a book, I think of you, Vera. You make the task seem simple and the book compelling!
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a sweet thing to say, Crystal. Thank you.❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Vera – thanks for this review of a tough subject. It’s great that the author is able to include uplifting messages and humor in her story. I agree with the contrast between unhealthy comfort food and a serious cancer diagnosis, but glad it didn’t detract too much from your enjoyment of the book.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s such a good book. It’s sticking in my head, and I have a feeling it’s going to be there a long time! Thanks for your comment, Barbara!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like the review. Looks to be good read. Would definitely read it if I get the copy of it. Thank you for the wonderful review.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Kritika, it’s definitely a good read. It’s the kind of story that will stick in my head for a long, long time. Thanks for commenting!🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Seems to be this kind of a book. Thank you.
My pleasure 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great review, Vera. The book sounds amazing. Thanks for sharing! I may check it out later. 😊 I lost my MIL to breast cancer and my FIL to lung cancer. We took care of them until the end. Now, my favorite aunt has pancreatic cancer. Unless she receives a miracle from God, there is no hope.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Gail! What were you doing hiding in the spam folder? (Silly WordPress.) Glad I saw your comment. My, your family really has been stuck hard by cancer. I’m so sorry. Yes, the book is amazing. So sad and so uplifting at the same time. Thank you for commenting.❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL!
LikeLiked by 1 person